This too shall pass...
the gentle way of accepting impermanence
Recently I wrote about my dark night of the soul I experienced, and it reminded me about one of the most useful and gentle approaches to life anyone could adopt.
As Sakura season in Japan is passing its peak bloom, it is apt therefore to talk about one of the most important mindsets (heart-sets) you can adopt in life: the acceptance of the transient nature of life.
Sakura season is not about the pinkness or cuteness but the transient nature of everything in the Universe, and by appreciating, celebrating and enjoying the present moment, it’s specialness is due to the realisation that it will not last long. The “not lasting” is not something to feel grief about, to mourn the loss, but to accept that all things have a time to bud, grow, bloom and fade. All life follows this same path. Some elements of life like Sakura or the mayfly are short and fleeting, whilst others have long lives and go through a process of ageing and maturity that can last hundreds of years.
Nothing in the living world, attempts to change, extend or deny this path of life, except us humans.
We try to deny the transformative process of death. We deny it therefore we do not attempt to understand or accept it, so then we fear it and try to delay it.
But no matter what physical, mental or emotional gymnastics you attempt (or if you are a billionaire; waste money and resources on it), all of life, follows the same path.
It is the impermanence that gives meaning to our brief lives. In Japanese this is Mujō (無常) the acknowledgement of the impermanence of all things in existence.
Life and death are not starting and stopping points, they are mere transitions.
All of life transitions, all of life is in a constant dynamic flow.
The trick, all spiritual traditions advise us, is to stop and smell the flowers. And in Japan, this tradition, has become a global sensation! But, the stopping to enjoy the flowers is a metaphor for life not just for one place and one time. The fact that it attracts so many foreign tourists trying to capture selfies, must be a source of great sadness to the Japanese. Grabbing a phone full of selfies, is missing the true joy of the season. To sit with friends, colleagues or family, and enjoy time together, appreciating the fragility and celebrating its fleeting beauty in the moment, before it passes.
When you are experiencing hardships in life, it is consoling to say to yourself that “this too shall pass”, that this pain or discomfort, will not last forever and it allows hope (which is a facet of love) to be present. Our minds tend to hold onto negative thoughts and so when we are going through periods of difficulty, we can often feel no end is in sight and this compounds our suffering. Instead, by gently reminding ourselves that “this too shall pass”, we are able to meet the challenges with greater ease and allow grace to show us the path towards the light. I use this myself often, when life is challenging.
(I wrongly assumed this phrase came from the Bible! It sounds biblical but it comes out of Sufi fable. It is known in the West primarily due to a 19th-century retelling of the Persian fable by the English poet Edward FitzGerald where it was translated as “This also shall pass away”).
Something I don’t think we’re very good at in the West, is remembering that in times of beauty, happiness and joy, “this too shall pass”, is also a potent reminder to be present, to take-in the experience through the heart, and as the experience fades, instead of regret, loss or sorrow, we are able to let is go with gratitude for all it offered us.
The Japanese, has another phrase that complements the joy of Sakura season and its ichi-go ichie-e whose characters translates as, “in this moment, an opportunity.” But a direct translation doesn’t do it justice, what it alludes to is feeling that every moment, every encounter is a unique experience, and should be treasured as it can never be repeated again. Recently, I wrote about my experience of each time I visited my local wood, both I and the wood was different. Each visit demanded my attention, what was different? What new had emerged? What had died back? Each was a treasured experience, just because everything is in constant dynamic change, so you have to be present and take the opportunity to savour each encounter, knowing that is won’t last.
It’s the knowing that both “good and bad” are transient. Instead of denying, resisting, holding or grieving, we can allow all experiences to be appreciated as part of the multitude of experiences that life offers us.
Ultimately, if you are able to not label your experiences as “good or bad” then you can move through life with even greater joy or endurance; unburdened and going gently with the ebb and flow of life.
People sometimes worry that by not labelling they might miss out on the highs – I haven’t found that to be the case, when you become more present, more grateful, you really soak in life just as it is. As for the lows, not labelling most certainly, makes them less solid, less stubborn, and easier to let go of and transition through.
We humans tend to hold onto things, but by accepting the transient, impermanent nature of all things, we can begin to hold things more lightly. This more gentle, lighter holding allows for gentler letting gos. Whether you hold tight or not, you cannot undo the laws of existence, and these laws show is in every moment and in every way that this too shall pass. So by cultivating not just acceptance but appreciation, we can all live more harmoniously with the ebb and flows of life.
So, whether you are experiencing Spring, or if you in the Southern hemisphere of Autumn, no matter the weather or season, cultivating a ich-go ichi-ie attitude, means recognising that two moments (despite appearance) are never the same. Cherish them, but let them go, as all things have their moment, but all things must be allowed to pass. Savour each moment and like the blossom or the autumn leaves, let them follow their own path and fly away with the wind.
All likes, comments and shares are deeply appreciated, so if you enjoyed or found these words helpful, please do like, comment and restack, thank you!
I have to admit that I have struggled with letting go of the longer days of Spring and Summer, all the colour and a world obviously bursting with life and seeming expansion, but I am learning that everything needs its quiet time as well, to take what has been experienced and grown with and the value of integrating all of this as part of me going forward. One delight is experienced and moves on to make room for yet another delight. Some time in the very physical joys and other ethereal adventures that quietly invite when I am more still and have less visual distraction. I am learning. I do love and experience every time in nature, even the nature in my yard as new every time I step through my doorway. A butterfly, a soft breeze or a windstorm that makes the birds fly sideways, it is always a different experience. It doesn't always seem so in my home during the winter, but perhaps that is because there are so many controls to provide comfort and survival put in place to try to steady those months.
I also agree about the sadness of tourists coming to basically tick things off on a bucket list, just to say they had done this or been there. I experienced this when I lived in Haida Gwaii and perhaps just by being a more slow and steady being (at least in the physical realm). Nothing in Haida Gwaii is really set up for tourists. It is a place that will meet you on whatever spiritual level you are aligned or willing to receive from. The Haida people are not going to just admit you to their circles because you paid for a plane or a ferry to get there. The sea brings its diamond sparkles or heavy mists for those who are willing to sit and be with it. Those with their nose in their lists to see this or that are going to miss so much. Part of that can't be helped, I suppose, because of the brief nature of scheduled holidays and trying to tell someone that they might get more out of experiencing one place rather than trying to see everything at once is a big change from the civilized world, where things are wished for and delivered over the phone. Thank you Sharon for this article. It has obviously spurred on some areas of growth for me.
Thanks for your insights Alice, yeah I think it takes practice to uncondition ourselves from "favourite things we want to hold on to" I was completely the same about wanting to hold onto the Summer months and even Autumn but hated Winter with a passion.
But when I stepped out of my resistance to it, and started to look at the things I could appreciate, this past Winter sailed by with so much more joy than drudgery!
Holding or resisting is kinda pointless in the face of what is. So just by positioning ourselves towards life with a "this too shall pass" attitude, life surprises you with so much opportunity.